


His Divine Humanity

by witchesphoenix



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel-centric (Supernatural), Gen, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 19:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchesphoenix/pseuds/witchesphoenix
Summary: Castiel has always been just a little bit too human.
Relationships: Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester - Relationship
Kudos: 14





	His Divine Humanity

Too much heart was always Castiel's problem. 

Angels weren't supposed to feel. When they did, it was watered down versions of their source, echoes of emotions. This was true for nearly every angel. 

Castiel never saw anything his siblings didn't. A sunset was a sunset, a bird was a bird, a human was a human. But something was different. 

When Uriel looked at a bird, he identified the threat it presented and it's potential for assistance. When Castiel looked at the same bird, he was fascinated. He thought of her past, her struggles, her fight to survive. The simple beauty in the fact that she was even here at all. He saw a bit of himself in that bird, and in everything else. He felt it. 

When Zachariah looked at the sunset, he acknowledged to rotation of the Earth, and moved on. When Castiel looked at the sunrise, he sat down. He studied it's colours, the shapes of the clouds, the haze of the sun shining through them. Every night he watched the sunset. Every night he felt it. 

Castiel could never label what he felt. Angels were taught to fight and to obey. They were never taught about things as foolish as emotions and beauty. 

Castiel wasn't the only angel to feel things, but he was the strangest of them. A handful of angels, all "fixed" or fallen now, had expirienced the world in this way too. But unlike Castiel, they learned to feel. They got a taste of it and ripped their own grace out in order to hold onto that sensation. For better or worse, Castiel never had to make that sacrifice. 

Naomi was determined to fix Castiel. She'd fixed the other angels who had tried to escape, she'd made sure they'd never feel again. They became empty shells, vessels through which Heaven could carry out it's will. Nothing more, often less. But Naomi never could fix Castiel. 

She did everything she could. She tampered with his mind, his grace, everything that made him Castiel. She wiped his memories and replaced his thoughts with her will. She fought tooth and nail to make him obey. 

Each time she got closer to success. He'd forget just a little bit more, obey just a little bit longer. But again and again, Castiel would rebel, choosing humanity over heaven. 

Finally, after millennia of torture and experiments, Naomi had nearly fixed him. His eyes dwelled less on the bees and the flowers and the people in the park. He didn't object to the orders "God" gave him. He obeyed. 

Naomi was overjoyed - well, she would have been, if she felt in the way Castiel did. She was so close to completely fixing Heavens most broken angel. 

Then came the incident. 

Castiel was never supposed to be the one to rescue the righteous man. 

He had been sent with the rest of his garrison, they were meant to keep an eye on him while he held back the demons. 

There was more resistance than they had expected. 

Castiel struck down the last demon in his way. It was only a matter of time before more came. 

They couldn't resist them much longer. He had to act now. 

He reached for Dean's soul, and he felt everything. How achingly human Dean was. He felt his pain, his trauma, his fear, his mind, his love. Everything he had been programmed not to. 

The very touch corrupted him.

**Author's Note:**

> This came from me rambling about Castiel in my notes app at three am, I just added some grammar and formatted it a bit better, I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
